Local Arrested For Bizarre Protest

by Kilgore Trout
Staff Writer

November 27, 2009

Police were called to the scene of a bizarre protest yesterday in downtown Cooper; a protest that resulted in one arrest. Cooper resident Bob Zimmerman was taken into police custody and charged with one count of disturbing the peace and one count of discharging a weapon.

Officers were called around three pm yesterday with reports of a man ranting incoherently on the streets of downtown Cooper and building a bonfire in the middle of Main Street. When they arrived they found 67 year old Bob Zimmerman running around a bonfire built in the center of the street, waving a pistol and shouting incoherently and making reference to Mabus, the sasquatch member of the town council. They approached Zimmerman without incident and placed him into custody without having to fire any shots.

Witnesses to the incident report Zimmerman saying something like, "Century 2 Quatrain 62". According to one witness he kept saying, "Don't you see, people? Mabus is the one. He's the Antichrist. Century 2 Quatrain 62!" Another witness heard Zimmerman say, "There will come of people and beasts a horrible rout." I was a little frightened,", the witness said, " I knew he lost control when I saw him build a fire on Main Street and shoot it full of holes."

Police say he will be evaluated by a psychologist prior to his court appearance on Monday. He is facing up to three years in prison, due mostly to the discharging of a firearm in city limits. No motive has been presented and as yet nobody knows what his rantings meant. It is unknown if the event was politically motivated. According to the police there have been no threats made toward Mabus nor protests toward him or his policies. It is also unknown if Zimmerman is a republican or democrat.

One thing is known, for the present time Mr. Zimmerman is stuck inside a jail cell with the Mabus blues again.